


Two Such As You

by ajestice



Category: Shall We Date?: Obey Me!
Genre: Angst, Anxiety, Cuddling & Snuggling, Developing Relationship, Doji Maji Memorium, Established Relationship, F/M, Feels, Fluff, Friendship, If You Squint - Freeform, M/M, MC is so done with everything, Mammon and Lucifer Have Words, Mammon is Smart, Other, Platonic Cuddling, Reader is gender neutral, Reader-Insert, Takes Place in Levis Game World, chapter 10, mostly platonic though - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-04-28
Updated: 2020-04-28
Packaged: 2021-03-01 18:07:38
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,585
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23891323
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ajestice/pseuds/ajestice
Summary: And Mammon?Well, Mammon did not like to share your attention.To put it very fucking lightly.-In which the Reader has once again been yeeted into another world against their will, where they are now the main character in a video game, and the boys must compete with each other to win their heart in order to return home to the Devildom.Which is dumb, because Mammon won that game a long time ago.And he knows it....right?
Relationships: Main Character/Mammon (Shall We Date?: Obey Me!), Mammon (Shall We Date?: Obey Me!)/Reader
Comments: 34
Kudos: 476





	Two Such As You

**Author's Note:**

> I write with the assumption that R.A.D. is a university, and all students are college-aged.
> 
> Small panic attack in this one, because apparently that's my wheelhouse. But mostly it's just snark and angst and fluff. And Mammon being a surprise badass, because I've noticed that when things get serious, he tends to drop the idiot act real quick, and damn if that isn't just the best fucking thing in the world to watch.
> 
> Hella proud of myself for finally writing an Obey Me fic that doesn't take place entirely in a bed. Go me!
> 
> I seriously live for your comments, this fandom is so amazing and y'all are absolutely wonderful and sweet and I adore you. <3
> 
> As always, please let me know if I fucked up the Gender Neutralness of the reader.

It took almost an hour for you to get home that evening. Not because you got lost (though that would have come as a surprise to precisely no one, the game actually provided you with a path of glowing green arrows that guided you towards your destination), but because you had to pause every few steps in order to respond to a new text message.

Of which there were.

So.

Fucking.

Many.

Let's see... Lucifer and Satan appeared to be competing with each other to see who could provide you with the most useful in-game tips, tricks, and general life advice. You had a sneaking suspicion that Satan was only jumping on the bandwagon to piss off Lucifer, and Lucifer was probably just doing it out of some misplaced sense of duty, but hey, at least they were both being amicable towards you, and not snarky or dismissive or condescending.

_For once._

Levi, the one who was actually _supplying_ his brothers with said in-game tips and tricks, was also simultaneously providing you with a running commentary of their thinly veiled insult war. He'd even assigned a point system. Satan was currently in the lead.

And Mammon?

Well, Mammon did not like to share your attention.

 _To put it very fucking lightly_.

This new world into which you had been unexpectedly yeeted – and wow, you were really starting to notice a pattern here, and you _really_ hoped this wasn't going to become a recurring thing – had a very helpful built-in Virtual Assistant, whose cheerful, high-pitched voice had informed you that you currently resided with your Virtual Parents in a small two-story house, about six blocks from the school.

And so, after the day had ended and the dust had settled from Levi’s announcement (which had gone over about as well as a skydiving walrus), you had decided to follow the game’s advice and head home.

This, of course, had been met with _enthusiastic_ complaint on Mammon’s part. Not because it was too far away, per se; as he’d been quick to point out, there was no real, measurable distance that could ever keep him from you. No, his objection was more due to the fact that he had been assigned to room with Levi in the dorms.

And not only was Levi _ridiculously_ competitive about his games, but he was also, apparently, an infuriatingly light sleeper.

Which meant that Mammon was going to have to put in some _actual, real effort_ when he snuck out to see you.

His words. _Verbatim_.

Understandably, this declaration had not been received well by said ridiculously-competitive brother. Or any of Mammon's _other_ siblings, for that matter. Satan had held Levi back while Mammon beat a hasty retreat, but he had looked _decidedly_ less than pleased about it. And Lucifer had then spent almost an hour lecturing you on the importance of following curfew.

You scowled at the dark, empty house. Why were _you_ the one who always got yelled at? It wasn’t like you _forced_ Mammon to spend most of his nights in your room.

And, while you were on the subject, what in the _flying fuck_ had Mammon been thinking, outing you like that?! You knew him far too well to believe it was anything other than intentional, but you could see no clear motive for revealing his plans accidentally on purpose. Unless he'd just really wanted to piss off his brothers.

But, no. That couldn't be it, either, because Mammon snuck out after curfew _all the damn time_. It wasn’t exactly a secret. Lucifer had basically given up trying to stop him, at this point.

 _Ugh_.

“What the fuck, Mammon?” you muttered. The table lamp at which you directed your question was not Mammon ~~though the comparison was tempting~~ so it did not give you any satisfactory answer.

Your Virtual Parents had not yet arrived home from their respective Virtual Jobs, despite the late hour, so you helped yourself to some leftover Virtual Chicken and Rice while contemplating the validity of its Virtual Nutritional Value, and then followed a path of glowing green arrows up the stairs to your room.

You set your phone on your dresser and immediately began shedding your uniform, grumbling under your breath about stupid demons who couldn’t keep their stupid mouths shut. Because Mammon couldn't make anything easy, could he? Oh, no. He just _had_ to go and make a scene over some stupid video game with a stupid premise that involved winning your stupid…

Heart…

Oh.

Oh, _shit._

You cursed under your breath and reached for your keys.

Several things happened all at once.

Your phone started ringing.

The doorbell started ringing.

And a monster materialized from the shadowy depths of your closet and _lunged_.

Your inhumanly high-pitched shriek of terror may have roused every dog within a five-block radius, but the monster didn’t so much as _flinch_ as it wrapped its arms around you and hauled you back against its chest.

Your first instinct was to flee, but that was obviously not an option as the monster was currently _holding your ribs hostage_. Your second instinct was to scream again, louder this time, but when you sucked in a breath, a big, warm hand clamped over your mouth.

“ _Quiet,”_ the monster growled, and…

Ah, shit. You knew that monster.

The fear evaporated so quickly that it left you lightheaded, and you had to wait for the room to stop spinning before you reached up to pull his hand away.

“Mammon, what the fuck?”

Normally, he would have chuckled, or made a playful quip about how cute you looked when you were scared. But this time, he said nothing. He just stood there in the darkness, holding you so tight you could barely breathe.

Your heart twisted in your chest, like it was trying to reach out to him through your ribcage, which was not a _super_ fun feeling, but it happened often enough at this point that you’d mostly grown used to it.

But your phone was still chiming away on your dresser, and downstairs, the doorbell had stopped ringing just long enough to be replaced by someone banging on the front door loudly enough to rattle the windowpanes in your room.

“Hey,” you said, giving his hand a gentle squeeze. “I should… probably get that.”

His grip around your waist tightened even further, and a low growl rumbled through his chest, and for a moment you thought he might flat out refuse to let you go.

Which would have come as a surprise to literally no one, because when Mammon wasn’t running around loudly proclaiming his complete and utter indifference towards you, he was shamelessly glued to your side, where he spent the majority of his time inventing new excuses to touch you, to pull you closer, and to keep you there, in his arms, for as long as humanly - or, in his case, _inhumanly_ \- possible.

And so, when Mammon abruptly released his grip on you and stepped away, your brain simply could not accommodate for such an unexpected turn of events. You stumbled backwards, flailing blindly, and then let out a squeak of surprise when a pair of strong arms caught you and lifted you effortlessly into the air.

“Nice,” you said with a breathless little laugh. “Next time, maybe start with this, yeah?”

Mammon stared at you for a long moment, rolled his eyes, and heaved a sigh.

And then he turned and unceremoniously dumped you onto the bed.

“Hey!” you yelped. “What the hell, Mammon? I was just _teasing_ you, why…”

_BANG!_

You froze.

Mammon froze.

Regrettably, whoever had just kicked down your front door did _not_ freeze.

For some reason, your brain decided to bypass its standard flowchart of Logic and Reason, the one you had carefully and meticulously constructed over the years to help keep said brain from yeeting itself into a dumpster fire of panic at the first sign of trouble, and instead dove headfirst into the carefully catalogued library of memories labeled “Horror Movie Tropes.”

So now, the footsteps you could hear coming towards the stairs did not belong to a person.

**They belonged to a monster.**

Which was ridiculous, of course, because you’d never heard of a monster who rang the doorbell and knocked politely before it kicked down the door, but apparently you had reached your limit on rational thought for the day, so yeah.

You were definitely going to die.

You were going to die in this _stupid_ game because you'd let Mammon talk you into this like the fucking lovesick _idiot_ that you were, and this was the end of you. You would never again see the Devildom, you would never again get to make a Pancake Mountain for Beel, or get a manicure with Asmo, or bake cookies with Barbatos, and you would never again see the sunrise or swim in the ocean, and Mammon was just _standing_ there doing _nothing_ even though you were about to _die_ , and you could hear someone calling your name downstairs, and…

Oh.

You knew _that_ monster, too.

“It’s... it's Lucifer” you said, dazed.

Mammon turned away, cursing savagely under his breath. “Thought I lost him at the train station.”

You had to play that sentence back in your head a couple times before it made sense.

And even then, it didn't.

“The… the _what?_ Why the hell were you at the train station?”

He glanced back over his shoulder and gave you a _look_ , and then stepped up to the window and began fiddling with the latch.

“Stall him as long as ya can,” he said, sliding open the glass. “I’m gonna need a head start.”

A bolt of alarm shot straight through your chest, because Lucifer was downstairs destroying your living room, and Mammon was about to jump out of your window, and your brain was preparing for its magnificent swan dive into a raging dumpster fire filled with panic and death.

And when you spoke, it was without thought, because all of those were on fire, too.

**“Stay.”**

Mammon made a strangled noise in his throat – that was surprise, and no small amount of annoyance, but not pain. It didn’t hurt when you used the Pact on him, as much as he’d enjoyed making you think that, at first. The sneaky little shit.

He glared at you, frozen like an awkward statue by the window. _“Really?”_

You opened your mouth to speak – to apologize, probably, because when it came to Mammon you were a total lost cause – but then your phone started ringing again.

Lucifer was shouting your name.

Mammon was cursing under his breath.

And your brain was on fire.

And then... the switch got flipped.

It didn't happen very often, and you could never be sure what might trigger it, but apparently your present situation met all the requirements, because instead of experiencing the mental equivalent of an uncontrolled nuclear chain reaction, your brain underwent a standard emergency shutdown, and in the span of a single heartbeat, your stress gauge dropped from "I am so fucked" to _"I am so fucking done with this shit."_

You spun on your heel, yanked open the door, and stuck your head out into the hallway.

“Jesus _fucking_ Christ, Lucifer! Calm your tits and give me _two fucking seconds_ or I swear to God I will _brain you with a pineapple!”_

Just before you closed the door again, you heard a bewildered voice from the living room say: “…wait, calm my _what?”_

When you turned around, Mammon was staring at you with a look of pure wonder on his face.

“That was the most beautiful thing I have ever heard in my entire life.”

You glared at him for a moment, and then released him from his Pact command with a single thought. He grunted in surprise, stumbling half a step before recovering his balance, and let out a deep sigh as he rolled his shoulders and stretched his arms over his head.

When he was done being dramatic, he turned to you, leaned back against the wall, crossed his arms over his chest, and grinned.

“So,” he said, very casually, “I hear you’re in the market for a pineapple…”

You made a noise in your throat that was half sigh, half scream. “Mammon, what did you _do?_ ”

“Hm? Oh." He thought for a moment, and then shrugged. “I snuck out.”

Your first instinct was to fling a lamp at his head. Your second was to scream.

You did neither, because you knew better, and you had no intention of playing this game with him.

“Mammon," you said in a sweet and deadly voice, "you sneak out _all the time._ But Lucifer doesn't usually _hunt. You. Down_.”

He swallowed hard and his gaze slid from your face. “Yeah, well… this is different.”

You tilted your head at him. “And why is that?”

He cleared his throat, the same way he always did when he was desperately scrambling to think up a convincing lie. And failing.

“Because they’re, uh..." he laughed nervously. "They're all mad because they think I’m gonna win." He shook his head and made a vague, helpless gesture with his hands. “It's crazy, right? I mean, I know I’m pretty amazing and all, and you’d have to be an idiot not ta pick me, but…”

He kept talking, but he’d already asked the rhetorical question that marked the point where his words stopped having meaning and started growing fins to help them on their journey down that one really long river in Egypt, so after a moment you sighed and held up your hand.

His mouth snapped shut.

“Mammon,” you said in a tired voice, “don’t be an idiot; _of course_ you’re going to win. But that still doesn’t explain why Lucifer just Hulk-smashed my front door.”

His face went completely blank. He opened his mouth to speak, closed it, looked away, and then looked back at you.

“I told them about the tree,” he said quietly.

The tree?

Oh, right. The panic attack.

Well, that wasn’t so bad; it wasn't like the boys were _unaware_ of your brain’s tendency to nope the fuck out the moment your stress gauge redlined. At this point, all of them had witnessed some form or manifestation of your anxiety disorder, and though they may not have been explicitly aware of what was going on, they had done everything they could to help you through it until Mammon had arrived to whisk you off to safety.

“Okay? So… what, they’re worried about me?”

That was kind of sweet, actually.

Mammon cleared his throat again. “Um. They were? Like, at first? But… they stopped bein’ worried after I told ‘em I sleep with ya most nights, so…”

Oh.

Okay.

So, yeah.

You were going to kill him.

“Mammon,” you said, “I am going to kill you.”

Behind you, Lucifer growled, “ _Get in line_.”

-

You spun to face him, but before you could say anything, he lifted his hands in a gesture of placation.

“Rest assured,” he said in a flat voice, “my tits are _perfectly_ calm.”

Mammon snorted a laugh, and Lucifer turned his full attention to his brother. You caught a flicker of… _something_ in his expression – a shadow of what you could only think to describe as _pain_ , there and gone again so quickly you were left wondering if you had imagined it – before he lifted one dark eyebrow and fixed Mammon with a mocking smile.

“I expected you to be long gone by the time I got here,” he mused. “What happened, Mammon? Did you get _called to heel_ by your little human?”

Okay, first of all, fuck this guy. Even _Satan_ hadn’t been so awful to Mammon – or to _you_ , for that matter – when you’d first made your pact with Mammon.

And, secondly… wow, this was bad. You tensed, awaiting the explosion, but instead of flying into a rage or tripping over himself to deny the slightest emotional or physical connection to you, Mammon crossed his arms over his chest and leaned back against the wall.

“Yeah,” he said simply. “I did.”

Fucking.

_What._

All traces of amusement vanished from Lucifer’s face. A muscle in his jaw twitched. “I’m disappointed in you.”

Mammon laughed, and _wow,_ you had never heard a sound so filled with contempt that it made the hairs on the back of your neck stand up, but apparently this was a night for Fun New Discoveries About Mammon, because he’d just done exactly that.

“You say that like there was ever a time that you _weren’t_ ,” he mused.

 _“Damn you, Mammon,”_ Lucifer snarled. “We had an agreement!”

Jesus. Even stripped of his demon power, you could feel Lucifer's rage rolling over you like waves of heat blasting out of an oven. He was radiating some _serious_ boss-level aggro, unlike anything you'd ever felt from him, before.

And then, there was Mammon.

Still leaning back against the far wall, arms crossed over his chest, idly tapping one foot on the floor and looking for all the world like he was just having a friendly chat with his brother, and not deliberately and maliciously antagonizin _g a fucking star_ on the verge of going _supernova._

“Nah." His eyes glinted as he shook his head. “We didn't have an agreement. You gave us an _order._ " He lifted one shoulder in a lazy shrug. "I chose not to follow it."

And here you were, just… standing there, between the two of them, suffocating beneath the leaden silence that had descended over the room and trying to decide what scared you more: the fact that Lucifer had actually raised his voice, or the fact that Mammon _hadn’t_.

And, _God_ , you were so fucking done with being scared.

“Virtual Assistant,” you said in a numb voice.

Both demons turned in unison to stare, first at you, and then at the small, glowing blue ball of light that flickered to life above your head.

“The hell is _that?”_ Mammon muttered.

“What are you _doing?”_ Lucifer demanded.

“How may I be of assistance?” the Virtual Assistant chirped.

You glanced up at Lucifer, and then over at Mammon. “Mute Player 2 and Player 5, please.”

A delicate chime echoed through the room. “Thanks for asking so nicely! I have Muted Player 2 and Player 5. Is there anything else I can help you with?”

“That’ll be all for now. Thanks.”

The blue orb faded.

Lucifer opened his mouth to speak – to lecture you, probably – but no sound came out.

Mammon blinked at Lucifer, and then threw his head back and burst out laughing. No sound there, either.

You sank down onto the floor, crossing your legs beneath you, and massaged your temples as you took a few deep, calming breaths.

After a few moments, you lifted your head and found both demons watching you with astonishingly similar expressions, mixed of curiosity and concern, with maybe even a little bit of remorse.

If you squinted.

“Look, I don’t know what the fuck is going on between the two of you,” you said with a vague, tired gesture, “but I do not have the energy to deal with it, right now.” You sighed and scrubbed a hand over your face. “This place is creeping me out, and I really want to go home, so can we please just… get through the game, and deal with… _whatever_ this is when we get back to the Devildom?”

They both stared at you for a long moment, and then, at the same time, they both smiled.

It was… a little creepy, if you were being honest? But it was also… kind of adorable. Like, kind of _really_ adorable, and in a way that you hadn’t been expecting _at all._ Mammon’s face lit up, his eyes glinting with amusement and delight, while Lucifer’s gaze narrowed as he tilted his head at you, and his lips curled up in that slightly condescending way that he always used to indicate affection for his brothers.

And now, apparently, also you.

The brothers exchanged a long, measured look, and then, after a moment, they both nodded, and your shoulders sagged with relief. You leaned your head back against the bed and closed your eyes

“Virtual Assistant, unmute players,” you mumbled.

The chimes rang through the room once again, but neither demon spoke. When you opened your eyes, they were still watching you, looking almost like they were…

Waiting for something?

“You… you can talk now, guys.”

Mammon looked at Lucifer.

Lucifer cleared his throat and looked away.

You made a pitiful noise in your throat. “What?” you whined. “What, now?”

Mammon lifted his chin, and his gaze never left Lucifer, even as a faint blush darkened his cheeks. “He wants to know if I’m staying with you.”

You blinked, glancing between them. “Do you want to?”

Mammon huffed a soft, humorless little laugh. “Do _you_ want me to?”

You stared up at him. He _knew_ you wanted him to stay; the two of you had had this conversation many times before, especially in the beginning, when he had been terrified that he might unintentionally violate your personal boundaries.

Because, being the precious and adorable thing that he was, it took Mammon an absurdly long time to come to terms with the fact that, when it came to him, _you didn’t have personal boundaries._

He knew that you trusted him. He knew that you adored him. And he knew that you always slept better when he was with you. 

And you knew, despite his body language and the hostility glinting in his eyes, that he wasn’t just doing this just to rub salt in the wound, or to lord this victory over his brother.

Mammon loved being right more than almost _anything_ , but he wasn’t cruel, and he had always made it very clear that he did not view you as some sort of prize or trophy to be won. (In fact, if pressed, he was far more likely to argue that _he_ was the prize, and _you_ the lucky winner, though he did so at his own peril.)

No, this wasn’t about his pride, or his ego, or even his greed.

This was something else. Something… bigger. More important.

This was about proving a _point._

“Yes,” you said, without a hint of doubt or hesitation. “I want you to stay.”

Mammon didn’t smile or laugh or gloat. He simply nodded. 

Lucifer, with dark eyes swirling with a storm of emotions that you couldn't even begin to decipher, nodded back.

And then, without a word, he turned on his heel and left.

-

Mammon was quiet as the two of you got ready for bed, but that wasn’t terribly unusual for him; he tended to be far less talkative when you were alone together. He used words to direct those around him, to deflect or distract or focus their attention, not so much to manipulate as to _guide_. It was all the more impressive because no one ever realized that he was doing it.

But with you, he was different. He didn’t have to keep up the façade, because you'd seen straight through it the first day you met him. Cracked him open like an egg, as he liked to say when he was trying to make you smile.

And he didn’t have to guide your attention in the right direction, because you understood him so well that he didn’t _need_ to.

And while he certainly still _talked_ to you, he just… never felt the need to fill the silence with unnecessary words.

That wasn’t to say that he didn’t occasionally fall back on old habits, however. 

Especially when he was nervous.

So when you finally crawled into bed, flopping down onto your pillow and holding your arms out for him, and he _immediately_ turned away and started spouting random nonsense, you heaved a sigh and hauled yourself back up again.

“Where’d ya learn about the mute command, anyway, huh?” he asked as he fiddled with the buttons on his shirt. “Can anyone do it, or just you?” He huffed a laugh and shook his head. “Man, I’d love to be able ta mute Lucifer on command like that…”

You tossed the covers back and slid out of bed, padding over to him as he continued to struggle with his buttons and ponder the benefits of an IRL Mute Button, all while very studiously avoiding your gaze.

Wordlessly, you batted his hands away and wrapped your arms around his waist, pressing your head against his chest.

“He’s not mad at you,” you said quietly. “He’s just worried.”

“I know." He slid his palm down your back. Hesitated. And then dropped his arm with a sigh. “It’s not that.”

“Oh.” You closed your eyes, listening to the slow, steady beat of his heart. “Are you worried about how the others will react?”

He snorted. “Not at all. _You’re_ the one whose taste in men they're going to question.”

You rolled your eyes. “Okay, then what's bothering you?" you asked, pressing yourself closer to him with a playful grin. "You afraid my Virtual Parents are going walk in any minute now and discover you in bed with me?”

Mammon stilled.

You lifted your head, took one look at his face, and burst out laughing. “ _Really_ , Mammon?”

He huffed irritably and pulled you back in his arms. “I’ve never _done_ this before,” he grumbled, burying his face in your neck. “What if I mess up and ruin the stupid game?”

Oh, god, he was so fucking precious.

“Don’t worry, Mammon,” you said, turning your head so that you could press a soft kiss to his cheek. “You’ll still win my heart, even if my Virtual Dad throws a bible at you.”

He jerked his head up, looking horrified. “Please tell me that’s not actually a thing.”

You shrugged. “Sometimes, it’s a shoe.”

“Savages,” he muttered, sweeping you up into his arms with an angry huff. You sighed, leaning your head against his chest as he carried you back to the bed. “Hurry up and disable them so I can sleep without fear of being assaulted by a computer sprite.”

“Virtual Assist- _oof!”_ You shot him a dirty look as he dumped you onto the mattress, and then giggled when he planted a loud kiss on the top of your head before turning away to finish removing his clothes. When he turned back, he knelt on the edge of the bed, and then paused, arching one pale eyebrow at you expectantly.

You sighed. “Virtual Assistant, please disable all Parent Interactions."

“Alright, I have disabled all Parent Interactions!” the little blue orb reported.

Mammon groaned with relief and collapsed onto the bed beside you.

“Damn straight,” he muttered. Immediately, his arm curled around your waist, pulling you down onto the pillow so he could hold you flush against him and bury his face in your neck. "No flyin' bibles, tonight."

You sighed happily, snuggling closer to him so that you could bask in the warmth of his skin. “Can't help but wonder what _Lucifer_ is gonna throw at you when we get home, though."

He was quiet for a long moment.

“You are _so mean_.”

You grinned, closing your eyes as your voice dropped to a sleepy murmur. “You know you love me.”

His grip tightened around you, and though you didn’t hear his response, you felt his lips brush over the back of your neck, where they formed a single word.

_“Yes.”_


End file.
